Did you know that Chex (yes, the checkered General Mills breakfast cereal) has its own video game? It’s called Quest Chex, and I had to watch a video to confirm it was real. What I found was basically a knockoff of Doom with more grilled rice.
Certainly, food mascots are no stranger to video games. Consider Pepsi Manfor example, or this scary Burger King game where you snuck up on strangers and became their nightmare. Still, I think there are plenty of other grains more deserving of the video game treatment than Chex. So I made a list of cereal mascots I want to see in a Triple-A game.
9 Count Chocula, Franken-Berry and Boo Berry
Who didn’t love this creepy trio of sweet icons growing up? I thoroughly appreciate each of the cereals represented by these characters. Not only do they taste great and fluffy marshmallows, they will flavor your milk with hints of chocolate and fruity deliciousness!
However, if we give these horror himbos a game, you bet it will increase the violence and gore to eleven! I want to see a mature survival horror title where the protagonist is being chased by these grain killers. Plus, pre-orders must come with a box of one of these cereals because, duh!
Raisin Bran is another cereal with an older market. After all, getting enough fiber to make regular BMs becomes a priority in your mid-twenties. Still, I have to say that Sunny, the sun picking up raisins on the Raisin Bran box, is noticeably cooler than the other adult cereal mascots.
I think Sunny deserves a game that matches his hip factor. Also, there must be a lot of jazz. Maybe the California Raisins will even make an appearance! Am I launching Persona 5 with more brand recognition and whole grains? Maybe?
Apparently sunny never worn sunglasses. We just imagined they were so cool. Damn you, Mandela Effect!!!
seven Mikey from life commercials
OK. This reference might pass over the heads of our young readers. But, at the time, there was an ad for Life cereal with this kid named Mikey. who was known to hate everything. So his brothers decided to use him as a human test subject and make him eat a bowl of Life. But, to his brothers’ surprise, Mikey eats the bowl of cinnamon-sweetened cereal, prompting the famous catchphrase “He likes it!”
But what happened to Mikey after this hectic breakfast? What if he lost his insightful, skeptical nature and became more prone to peer pressure. Maybe his brothers even pushed him into a life of crime!That’s right, friends. I want to see Mikey star in a title that’s GTA with a bowl of milk. i will call him Thug Life.
6 fool the rabbit
Tricks the Rabbit isn’t the only cereal-obsessed mascot on the market. For example, Lucky the elf has dedicated his life to protecting his lucky charms. And Sonny goes wild for Cocoa Puffs. But only one of those icons had the coolest yoghurt of the 90s. (Yes, the 90s, back when Trix cereal still had SHAPES!)
Honestly, I can sympathize with Tricks. All this bunny wants is a bowl of cereal that’s guarded by a bunch of bratty kids. I’m not going to blame those kids of advanced capitalism, but I bet at least one of them grew up to be a Tesla board member. I want Tricks to finally get its just desserts (or “just cereal” in this case) in its video game. I imagine a Metal Gear-esque stealth game where Tricks pull off the ultimate grain theft and succeed!
5 sam the toucan
If there’s one thing we know about Froot Loops’ Tucan Sam, it’s that he can “follow your nose.” However, something is intriguing about this character. For someone advertising unhealthy sugary cereal, it has that almost sophisticated Zazu air. He even has a British accent.
However, Brits with strong instincts are a common trope in the detective genre. So if Toucan Sam can still find a bowl of Froot Loops, he could definitely solve a murder. Therefore, I think a dark detective adventure title would be a good fit for a Toucan Sam video game. In fact, let’s make it a period piece! Does a tropical bird fit into Victorian London? We do not care! I would play it.
4 buzz the bee
Bees are an essential part of our health. They pollinate flowers and keep our ecosystem afloat. Yeah, some have stingers, but they mean well. One bee, in particular, Buzz The Bee, flies around and serves middle-aged adults a bowl of cholesterol-lowering cereal.
Buzz the Bee is the lovable and cheerful mascot of one of the best breakfast cereals, Honey Nut Cheerios. And if I developed a triple-A game for him, I wouldn’t mess up his routine at all. All I want to do is fire up my game console, fly around a quaint suburb, and make my grandparents bowls of cereal. That’s it. That’s the game.
3 lucky the leprechaun
Lucky The Leprechaun is the antithesis of Tricks the Rabbit. While Tricks the Rabbit yearns for a cereal he will never get, Lucky saves a cereal designed for the mythical. Yet the two mascots fail to achieve their goals. Tricks gets scolded for being a silly bunny and never gets the Trix. Lucky loses his bounty and laments, “They’re still after me Lucky Charms!”
If my Trix triple-A game is a heist game, I’d take a different approach to a Lucky Charms title. I think a tower defense game makes the most sense in this case. It was time for Lucky to terrorize children with Celtic trappings. For example, a ditch full of kelpies would be evil!
2 Snap, crack and pop
I don’t know about all of you, but I loved Rice Krispies as a kid. There’s no feeling like sticking your ear into a bowl of fresh Krispies and hearing those iconic sounds: pop, crack, and pop! Coincidentally, the aptly named Rice Krispies elves, Snap, Crackle and Pop, are as endearing as the sound of their cereal.
Mario and Luigi taught us that siblings make great platformers. Do not ask me why. I don’t make the rules. Therefore, it only makes sense that Snap, Crackle and Pop would become the SUPER KRISPIE BROTHERS! Triple the brothers would mean triple the fun, with platforming puzzles that require control of each of the three elves to solve. Basically, I run It Takes Three.
1 Tony the tiger
Frosted Flakes brought back the sexy! If you need proof, look to the cereal’s swole mascot, Tony The Tiger. This guy oozes sex appeal with his muscular figure, well-placed bandana and hoarse voice that exclaims, “They’rrrrrrrrre Grrrrrreat!” Who knew a little icing sugar could make such a difference to a cereal?
Sex appeal aside, Tony is the ideal video game protagonist. He is a leader with a strong moral compass and a passion for teamwork. Plus, his physique lends itself well to any action-oriented title. Tony could direct a fight against a fighter, an Uncharted-esque action-adventure title, or even a sports game. Whatever he decides to do with his image, you know we’ll play!
Next: They’re Grrrrrrrrrreat: The Best Tigers In Video Games